


Behave

by OccidensdeLuna



Category: The Arcana (Visual Novel)
Genre: Aftercare, Angst, Angst and Fluff and Smut, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Attempted Rape/Non-Con, Blow Jobs, Bottom Julian Devorak, Dom/sub, Dominant Asra (The Arcana), Drunkenness, Eventual Smut, Gen, Human Disaster Julian Devorak, Light Masochism, Nonbinary Asra (The Arcana), Orgasm Delay/Denial, Past Asra/Julian Devorak, Pirate Julian Devorak, Porn with Feelings, Praise Kink, Rope Bondage, Service Kink, Submissive Julian Devorak, Sweet Asra (The Arcana), Teasing, Top Asra (The Arcana)
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-07-28
Updated: 2020-08-09
Packaged: 2021-03-05 20:29:18
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence, No Archive Warnings Apply, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 4
Words: 14,827
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25561351
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/OccidensdeLuna/pseuds/OccidensdeLuna
Summary: “I told you there would be a storm, my nose never lies about these sorts of things. Which one of us lived out at sea again? Oh right, me.” Julian sneered, trying to sound more frustrated than he was, though the wide grin on his lips gave away how happy he was about being locked in from the storm with the other figure.“And I told you that my cards never lie. I must have read them wrong. Not that you're any help with things pertaining to magic and worlds beyond the veil of your meek understanding and childish apprehension. Honestly, Ilya, you can be so closed minded sometimes...” The white haired one sighed, and tossed a glum look to the cards that still lay open on the table.
Relationships: Asra/Julian Devorak
Comments: 2
Kudos: 61





	1. Convenient

**Author's Note:**

> I don't know how many chapters I'll do of this, but I certainly want to do more than one, so stay tuned of you like it! Enjoy~

“I told you there would be a storm, my nose never lies about these sorts of things. Which one of us lived out at sea again? Oh right, _me._ ” Julian sneered, trying to sound more frustrated than he was, though the wide grin on his lips gave away how happy he was about being locked in from the storm with the other figure.

“And I told you that my cards never lie. I must have read them wrong. Not that you're any help with things pertaining to magic and worlds beyond the veil of your meek understanding and childish apprehension. Honestly, Ilya, you can be so closed minded sometimes...” The white haired one sighed, and tossed a glum look to the cards that still lay open on the table.

Rain beat down heavily on the roof of the small home and strong gusts of wind howled outside, making the shuttered windows rattle. The storm had been a surprise to many, as the earlier morning had been dripping in warm sunlight and gentle breezes, making it an ideal summer day. The sky now was plagued with thick, dark clouds and sheets of rain torrenting down from the heavens, with occasional flashes of lightning and roars of thunder. While summer storms were not unheard of in Vesuvia, and most nights a soft rain was expected, all but Julian came unprepared for the massive downpour that now shadowed the coastal city. In the tarot cards defense, the magician had failed to be specific on _where_ the storm would happen, and the cards gave the weather fortune of their owner’s last venture: a vast desert, painted with myth and legend, in which Asra had been hunting down a forgotten library that supposedly had a book on a rare herb that would cure a hangover. On this particular night, the desert was experiencing a mild night, with a sky full of stars and low humidity, and the library lay still and remained undiscovered by the world, it’s hangover cure hidden and secret from humanity for another night. 

Julian huddled under his blanket and sat perched on the edge of a couch, shivering at the feeling of drenched clothes against chilled skin, making the other take notice. Silently, Asra went to the back of a cupboard and pulled out a pair of black silk shorts, tossing them to their guest and gestured to a curtain to change behind. Julian thumbed the article of clothing, a fond smile passing over his icy lips as he recalled leaving them here the last time the two had gotten together. He quickly went over behind the curtain and stripped off the wet clothes, pulling the dry pajama shorts over his hips before stepping out and handing the discarded shirt and trousers to his companion. Settling back on the couch, the doctor made a silent note to remember to ask later why they had saved his old things, seeming as things ended on a sour note, wrapping his blanket over his bare shoulders, and as he regained his body heat took a long look around the dimly lit sanctuary. Flickering candles and the glow of captured fireflies gave the cream walls a warmer beige tone, and with every flash of lightning, in its wake sent an array of blue luminescence cascading down the walls as light refracted through a sapphire hung on a gold chain that was strung up on a bookshelf above the magician’s bed. In the meantime, Asra had busied themselves with hanging up the soaked overcoats and scarves near the fire to coax them into drying, muttering a warmth spell to keep themself cosy in the cold home, having changed into dry garments as soon as the two had gotten in. Once the dripping clothes were secured and an empty copper pot was placed below to catch any drops of water, the white haired one padded back over to their storm companion and handed him a hot cup of tea, steam wafting from the murky surface and filling the room with foreign scents of other far off places. Julian eyed the cup suspiciously before taking a slow sip, and hummed appreciatively, holding the warmed ceramic cup to his cheek as the other pulled up a chair.

“At this point, if you told me that whatever I’m drinking had supernatural powers, I wouldn’t care or be surprised, as this is far too delicious to be any normal herbs found in any common garden. That being said, please don’t tell me what’s in here, I feel far too uneasy being surrounded by your magical trinkets and weird knick knacks as it is.” The doctor breathed, finding it hard to tear his gaze away from a stone carved monkey with ruby eyes and a wicked smile that sat precariously on a shelf.

“Just drink your tea, Ilya. Don’t think about it too hard or you might hurt yourself,” Asra chuckled, swirling what was left in their own cup to send another wash of perfumed steam over their face, “It is a shame that you were right about the storm, though. This isn’t exactly what I had imagined for tonight.”

“Well, I’m certainly not complaining.” 

“No, I’m sure you wouldn’t, even if whining and pouting is what you do best. I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t a bit disappointed with this situation, though. Certainly a waste of a perfectly lovely day.”

“I have several ideas of how to pass the time~” Julian purred, looking up through his lashes at his companion, mock sensuality oozing off of him, though the facade faded quickly and was soon replaced with a sheepish grin. “Wh-What I mean is, we haven’t spent any real time together since… What happened again?”

“You were in love with me and I needed to work some things out. You just happened to be there. I feel like you keep asking that in hopes of a different answer, but we both know that _we don’t work_.” Asra set their now empty cup down, and crossed their legs, fidgeting with the hem of their loosely fitting shirt. “I’m sorry, that was too harsh of me. You were… Are more than a body to me, otherwise I wouldn’t have allowed you in here. If I really didn’t care, I’d simply let you fend for yourself out there in the storm. You’re certainly strong enough, I’m sure you’d make it out alright. In fact, it might be fun to watch, especially if I send you out just in those all too revealing shorts of yours.”

“Careful, it’s sounding like you might like me more than you’re letting on. It’s so comforting to know that you have so much faith in my abilities to survive a mere stor-” 

A booming clap of thunder shook the small home to the foundation, sending books to fall off their shelves and throw pillows to tumble from the bed. Julian let out a yelp, and hugged the blanket tighter around his broad shoulders, squeezing his eye shut and cowered in terror. For a moment, he looked no more than a frightened little boy, trembling in fear. Asra, who had remained unfazed from the loud sound, gave a small sigh and scooted their seat forward until the pair’s knees touched. Kind hands brushed the auburn hair, that now formed ringlets dripping with rainwater, away and off of his face, the magician’s thumb gently stroking the eye patch for a lingering moment before pulling away. Julian looked up, lips parted in astonishment at the tender way the other had treated him, his shoulders drooped and eyes angled up to look into the amethyst eyes. The only sound, apart from the hushed whispers of their breathing, was the rain that pounded against the windows and the lonesome wind that cried out into the night, though for a split second the auburnette opened his mouth as if to say something, but was interrupted by another crack of thunder. This time, without a moment’s hesitation, Julian lunged forward, and wrapped his arms around the other’s slim frame, holding Asra tight to himself as the house shook from the tempest. After a moment, when the rain died down again, and all that was left was the gentle drumming of rain, the doctor slowly untangled himself from Asra, and pulled away from the one sided embrace, though was stopped by the firm grasp of their hand around his wrist.

“For someone so dashing, you sure do get spooked easily. It’s a miracle you ever lasted as a pirate for longer than a week. Can you even wield a sword, or did you cower in the ship’s hull every time there was a scuffle with another ship?” 

“You think I’m dashing? I always thought I had a very debonair look about me, but it feels nice hearing it come from you.” Julian smiled softly, though his gaze kept flicking down at his wrist that was still held firm in the magician’s hand. “You know, if you need a hand with anything… anything at all, you can just ask. You don’t have to be so grabby about things.” He halfheartedly tried to pull himself free of Asra’s grasp, and his wrist was easily relinquished from them.

“My apologies, again. Old times sake, and all. I don’t want you getting the wrong idea about anything. We are not a thing. You were never my boyfriend, and it was never going to progress further than what it was to begin with.” Asra stood up, knocking their chair over in the process. They scrambled to right it, before taking a few steps further away and crossing their arms over their chest. “I needed someone in a time when I was alone. You know all too well the pain of losing _them_ and I… You were convenient.”

“Is that all I was? Just a way to get back at yourself for not being able to save everyone?”

“They were NOT just “everyone” and you know that. I should have been able to protect them… I would have done anything to ensure that they survived, even if I didn’t. It should have been me.” Asra choked out, falling to their knees and cradling their face in their hands, burning tears streaming down their cheeks. 

Broken sobs tore through their throat, and filled the small hut with gasped breaths and slurred cries out to a cruel and unforgiving universe. It was the first time they had broken down about losing their apprentice in many a moon, bottled up emotions breaking free, no longer able to be locked away. The storm swirled around the sanctuary, making the floorboards creak as the wind whipped through the rafters, and rain pelted the walls. Asra crouched on their knees, hands covering their face as their cries grew louder than even the storm could muster. Julian was growing more uneasy and fearful by the second, now on his knees as well and cooing softly sweet words and kind affirmations. His hands rested on the magician’s shoulders and pressed his forehead to the others, and whispered hushed chants learned from Mazelinka in hopes that he could try and calm down the other best he could. The doctor felt a dull pain in his sternum, and the next thing he knew, he was lying on his back with Asra straddling his waist and throwing weak punches aimed for his chest.

“Why didn’t you bring them back? How could you have just let them die? You selfish, immature, ignorant, useless waste of a human being!! How could you have let them die in your care?! Tell me!!” Asra shouted, voice hoarse and hits getting weaker, until they crumpled against the auburnette’s chest, gasping for breath and shaking, no more tears left to cry.

“I’m sorry… I did the best I could, but… I wasn’t fast enough to find the cure… I wasn’t eating, I wasn’t sleeping, all I could focus on was trying to fix what that damned Lucio started, and they didn’t tell me they were feeling ill. I didn’t know, and when they collapsed I knew I was too late and I tried to help them, I did. I didn’t take the deal with the Hanged Man until after…” Julian slowly raised his hand to his face, catching his thumb underneath the black eyepatch that covered his right eye and with one fluid movement pulled it off of his face, opening his eye slowly to get used to the light. “Nothing was left unscathed by the plague, you know. Even I was scarred after it all.” 

Asra pulled themself upright, running a hand through their tussled dandelion fluff hair and rubbing at their tear-damp cheeks, before glancing down at the man below them. Amaranthine eyes widened as the magician studied the ivory and scarlet eyes that gazed up at them. The breakdown from only moments ago was long forgotten, as Asra took in all that they could from the man whom they thought would always be in perfect health. With trembling fingers, they reached down gently traced small circles underneath the doctor’s eyes, as if searching for some skin deep answers that would reveal themselves if touched. No such reply occurred, only the deep blush of Julian’s cheeks that went unnoticed a moment longer, the white haired one still exploring the man’s face as though he were some rare and beautiful creature, never seen before. Julian bit his bottom lip, hands unsure of what to do or where to be, and hovered near the other’s waist before falling to the hardwood floor, wincing as the bones of his thin wrists crashed against unforgiving cedar.

“Can you see out of it? You seem to be tracking me without any trouble, though that could be from habit,” Asra murmured, ignoring the whimper of pain that the doctor had stifled, “I think I like it better this way, without that ridiculously theatrical eyepatch of yours. It really is the most beautiful of colors… Shame it had to come from such a despicable source.”

“I thought it went with the whole pirate ensemble.”

“Mm, I suppose. Not very swashbuckling or heroic here on the floor, are you? No, for now, while you’re here with me, I’d like it if you let me look into both of your eyes.” 

“Is that all you want from me?” Julian breathed, trying to control his breathing as much as he could to keep from showing just how much enjoyment he was getting from their current position, though was rewarded with a sharp glare as Asra’s hand moved from cradling his flushed cheek to being tangled in his almost dry auburn hair, tugging at it gently. Julian whined softly, squirming a little underneath the other to find a more comfortable position on the floor, before huffing to himself, looking away from the one on top of him. The magician leaned down closer, until their noses were almost touching and their lips were a hair's breadth apart.

“See? Told you all you’re good at is whining... Ah, ah. Look at me when I talk to you.” Asra’s other hand moved from the doctor’s chest and below his chin, tilting the man’s jaw up until their eyes connected again.

“You’re going to have to say ‘please’ if you want me to do anything.” Julian purred, a smirk on his plush lips and mirth clouding the eyes that now gazed fearlessly upwards.

“Behave.” 

For a moment, a wave of submission washed over Julian, lowering his chin slightly and trying his best not to pout, but it soon subsided, leaving a flicker of mischief in his eyes. A slight furrow of his brow was all the warning the magician got before they were wrapped tightly in the other man’s arms and carried to the bed and gently laid on their back, a triumphant looking Julian slotted between their legs, a wicked grin on his face. Asra kept just how impressed they were that the other man wasn’t a puddle between their own legs, and licked their lips, settling into the mattress and gazed up at the auburnette who was doing his best to fight back the blush that was creeping over his moonlight pale cheeks. The storm had died down long ago, the reason for the two being locked in together not even on either’s horizon of thought.

“Make me~” 

“I can feel everything between your legs at this angle, and you’re deciding to be a little brat for me? Brave boy~ It’s so cute when you think you’re in control when we both know that with one little touch here or there on that body of yours, I’d have you gasping my name in seconds, but because you’ve chosen to be bratty to me when I would have been so generous, I think I’ll just let you suffer tonight and see how I feel in the morning, okay?” Asra smiled up sweetly, running their hands gently, this time, through the doctor’s hair, knowing all too well that he got pleasure from anything. “Now come here, and be a good boy for me. If you don’t talk back to me anymore I’ll let you be Little Spoon, just the way you like it.”

Julian blinked away the desperation in his eyes, knowing better than to dig himself into a deeper hole than he already was in - though it would be _oh_ so worth it - and resigned himself to leaning down and giving the white haired one a chaste kiss on their full lips. He awkwardly got their legs out of the intertwined tangle that the two had found themselves in, being as silent as he possibly could, only letting out a small whimper when the oversensitive bulge between his legs was accidentally brushed by Asra’s hip, who raised their eyebrow before shaking their head softly, allowing the auburnette to settle himself into their open arms. A much gentler rain tapped at the sealed windows, making the bed feel cosier and the moment all the more sweet. Asra tugged the comforter over the two, nestling their face in the crook of the other man’s neck, and left a constellation of kisses on the pale skin, humming strange and otherworldly lullabies under their breath as they did so. The sapphire that hung above the bed spun slowly, and lit by the last remaining candles that had for the past hour been drowning in melted wax, projecting a nebula of blue stars across the darkened walls of the sanctuary. Lulled by the soft cooing sounds of his companion and the drumming of raindrops above his head, Julian grew calmer in the magician’s arms, his earlier romantic endeavors pushed aside for a more intimate kind of love. With the soft whisper of lips against his neck and arms wrapped around his waist, the auburnette slowly but surely gave into a much more demanding desire, his shadowed eyelids taking more and more effort to stay open until finally they could only stay closed. Asra stayed awake for a little longer, a melancholic tug at their heart as they wondered if allowing Ilya back in their life after all they had done was the best idea, but they couldn’t help but ask themselves if what he had done was all that bad. Of course in the heat of things, losing _them_ , well… That was the worst pain the magician had ever had to go through, but in the end, it wasn’t entirely Julian’s fault. He hadn’t infected them, and expecting one man, brilliant as he was, to find a cure to the most devastating plague Vesuvia had seen now seemed like a burden much too heavy for one man to bear. The white haired one stroked tiny shapes and markings over the other man’s chest, softly muttering as a protection spell under their breath as now would be the only chance they got to do it, with Ilya so outwardly against magic. Violet eyes fluttered shut, and a small smile graced the magician’s lips as they joined the other in falling into a deep slumber.

Dreams unwove in the two minds, in which visions of new unexplored worlds lay open for the taking and all questions were blessed with answers, poetic and twisted as much as they were clear and true. The two sleeping figures were not even awoken when warm tendrils of sunlight came creeping through the cracks of the sealed shutters, rainbows of light erupting from the stained glass above the kitchen sink and the songs of morning doves filling the cool morning air. The sharp smell of the ocean mixed with the earth after a heavy rainfall wafted over the coastline, and traveled through the mists that lay thick over the coastal city. Julian was the first to open his eyes, though he remained still and unmoving, enjoying the feel of another pressed up against his back, arms still wrapped tightly around his small waist. He had missed this… Waking up in another’s arms, and for once in his life knowing that for a moment he was safe. As slowly as he could manage, considering just how lanky he was, Julian savoured the warm embrace of Asra a moment longer before crawling out of bed and replacing his form with a pillow, tucking the soft bundle under the other’s arm to mimic his body and softly padded into the kitchen. Having shared more mornings than either cared to admit, the auburnette knew from experience that as long as he stayed relatively quiet, his companion would sleep for as long as they were able. A beam of warm sunlight lay dashed across the remaining body, and as the morning crept on, moved it’s way over to shine over Asra’s closed eyes, causing them to squint sleepily and tighten their grip on what lay tucked between their arms, giving a confused mumble when they realized it wasn’t what, or who, they thought it was.

“Good morning, my lovely demiurge~ My, my you look stunning as you always do.” Julian crooned, making his way over with a large cup of steaming black tea, setting it down on the bedside table before perching himself on the foot of the bed. After taking a long, and grateful sip of their tea, Asra sat up, rubbing their eyes and brushing their mop of snow white hair from their face, and gave a suspicious glance over the rim of their cup at the man sitting near them.

“Since when are you a morning person. I don’t think I’ve ever seen you so cheery before dusk or after you’ve downed a strong drink, or three.”

“Since you asked, I’m on my fourth cup of coffee, just the way I like it, s-”

“Strong enough to kill a mortal, and blacker than your soul. I remember. For the record, your soul would be a light burgundy at best. Maybe even pink. I don’t know where you get the idea that you’re some kind of brooding shadow of a man.” The magician teased, tossing a playful glance through their lashes, and carefully set the half empty cup on the table. “Thank you, Ilya.”

“For the tea or for keeping you company last night. I know how you’re afraid of big, scary storms like that.” Julian laughed softly, resting the almost empty cup on his thigh and leaned back on his free hand. “You’re welcome.”

The two sat in mutually appreciative silence, not needing to say anything hadn’t already been said. The morning mist melted away as the sunlight shone more strongly down on the valley, leaving liquid diamonds scattered over the herbs that grew on the home’s window sill. The lonesome wail of a far off foghorn sounded like distant hum, traveling dozens of miles on the ocean’s winds before it finally reached the ajar window of Asra’s sanctuary. For a moment, Julian’s face dropped, recalling his days climbing the masts of his ship, his past melding into the present as his mind wandered. It didn’t feel _so_ long ago, his days of piracy and adventure, but the more he thought about it and the plague and all he had lost, the auburnette’s smile fell more by the second. His grey eyes welled up, and he could feel tears threatening to make themselves known, and so the doctor quickly lifted his hand up to brush them away in the case that they did fall, only to remember that he wasn’t wearing his eyepatch. Fear and self loathing crossed his face, and Julian scrambled to his feet, searching the floors for wherever he may have discarded it in the previous night. Asra took notice, and gently intertwined their fingers in the others, pulling slightly to get their companion’s attention.

“Now what did I say last night?” The magician cooed, stroking their thumb against Julian’s wrist, hoping it would soothe him a little.

“The bit about me being useless or me being pouty?” 

“Ah, be nice.” 

“R-Right… Sorry… What did you say last night?”

“While you’re here with me, I’d like it if you let me look into both of your eyes. I don’t see the shame or guilt that you do. Besides, it must be odd, not being able to see out of it by choice.” Asra reached their free hand up and gently cradled under the scarlet eye, running their thumb under the lower lashline, and smiling softly up at the doctor.

“But I have to hide that part of myself, if not for your sake than for my own.” Julian made another halfhearted attempt to pull away, but this time Asra’s grip stayed strong.

“What else did I say last night?” 

“That I was convenient?”

Asra shot a warning glance up at Julian, before sliding from the bed and running a hand down the man’s chest, smiling when it was rewarded with a choked whimper. The magician wrapped their hand around the back of the doctor’s neck, and with a sharp tug, pulled the taller one down to eye level. Smirking, Asra pressed their full lips against Julian’s, relaxing into the kiss for a lingering moment before pulling away, leaving the other breathless and blushing.

“Behave~”


	2. Come on, Lover Boy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Do you know where you’re going?” The white haired one gasped, finding it hard to keep up with Julian, silently cursing themself for not sensing their pursuers sooner.
> 
> “I know where I’m not going. I’m not built for being imprisoned and neither are you, now get those little legs of yours moving or you’re bottoming for the scum of Vesuvia.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> After the angst in the first chapter, I wanted something more light and fun. Hope it isn't too disappointing, but I can't write too much angst in a row. Anyway, enjoy some gay bois~

The brooding clouds of last night’s storm had fled to the sea, leaving behind a sapphire sky and a calm, crystal ocean that kissed the warm sand with every gentle wave. Vesuvian townsfolk bustled in the crowded marketplace as the midday sun crept across the sky, illuminating the rainbow of glass bottles and silk scarves that hung from string lights. Inviting smells of freshly baked bread and exotic spices filled the air, enticing wanderers to the different stalls that lined the cobblestone roads and alleyways. A passel of small children ran between and around adults legs, laughing and screaming as they made their merry way to the stalls that if you were lucky enough, would hand out free samples of the food, gleefully oblivious to any and all problems that had once decimated the very same streets that they bounded through now. Two figures, one tall enough to see above the heads of most, the other a head or so shorter, made their way slowly through the marketplace, arms linked and murmuring under their breath little observations secret and desires to each other.

“If we don’t stop by the bread stall on the corner of the steps, and you don’t buy me a loaf, I’m making you sleep outside and Faust and I will share the bed.” The shorter one said with a coy smile. Their fingers lazily stroked the other man’s arms, as they hummed softly to themselves.

“As motivating as that is, I’m afraid he knows I only have counterfeit, er… pirate currency.” The tall man said, a sheepish grin plastered on his chiseled ivory face.

“I don’t recall that ever stopping you in the past, Ilya.”

In a silent mutual agreement to enjoy each other's company until the wind shifted or the tides turned, Julian and Asra strolled through the market streets, arms linked so they were never separated as others walked by them. It was Julian’s idea to hold hands, pointing out that they both had held much more intimate things in the past, but Asra declined the proposal, and the pair compromised on joining elbows, so that they could at least be touching which also served as a way to keep the doctor’s hands occupied as they had a tendency to wander South. As they both approached the baker’s stall, a man who had been sitting behind the wooden counter stood up, groaning, and waddled his way to stand guard in front of his steaming loaves of bread.

“Oh, no you don’t, Devorak. You’re not gonna sweet talk me into giving you another free handout, so don’t even try.”

“Charming as ever, my dear baker. Is that a new cologne, or are you just naturally so enticing?” Julian crooned, voice sweet like honey, putting on his most winsome demeanor. Asra rolled their eyes, but couldn’t help but smile. “For the record, I was going to pay you today, shame on you for having such low expectations of me.”

“Fake gold and theatrical performances do not equal payment, we’ve been over this already. If you don’t show me some real money or leave, I will call the royal guard. I know they’ve been looking for your little friend for refusing to pay their rent and tax evasion.”

Julian glanced down at the magician, giving them an impressed look before crossing his arms over his chest and pursing his lips. He had been in fights before, mostly short lived brawls in the Rowdy Raven, but he could get out of a tough situation if he needed to. The baker, though he was large in stature, was as doughy as the goods he sold, and should be easy enough to tire it and certainly easy to outrun. The auburnette was about ready to roll up the sleeves of his shirt, but was stopped when he felt the light touch of Asra’s hand on his forearm, and looked down confusedly. The magician merely winked at him, and sauntered their way to the baker - who at this point looked more like a disgruntled bull than civilized human - and rested their hand on the man’s shoulder, leaned forward, lips moving in a hushed whisper. For a moment, the man retained the fury in his eyes, until his face finally softened, eventually grinning, and patted Asra’s back and nodded enthusiastically, handing them an especially crusty loaf of his freshest bread and two slices of pumpkin bread. The white haired one smiled demurely, breathing a brief thank you, and gestured to Julian to follow them down to the steps to eat.

“What kind of spell was that?” The doctor said in bafflement, awe and admiration oozing off of him, taking his cut of pumpkin bread gratefully and sitting down awkwardly on the stone steps that lead up to the townsquare.

“No magic. You rely on your charisma and handsome face to get your way, where I know what actually makes people tick.” The magician said, mid bite, and wiped their lips with the back of their hand.

“Oh please, you know I can’t stand being kept in the dark with things. I’ll get on my knees and beg if I have too, just please tell me?”

“Now that’s a pretty picture. You’re that desperate, huh?”

Julian nodded, pouting his lower lip and clasping his hands together in front of his chest, whimpering softly. Asra chuckled softly, shaking their head, crumpling the paper that the snack had come in their slim hands. Knowing he had won, the auburnette’s face broke into a wide grin, and clapped his hands together, laughing triumphantly.

“I am acquaintances with his wife, and she holds very little back in the more… disappointing aspects of their marriage. During our monthly tea and tarot reading, she goes on and on about how he does very little in fulfilling many of the physical roles, and so I let the poor man know that in my shop I have many different herbs and spices that could help with his… issue. I did pity him a little, and left the bit out of his wife finding solace in the company of women in his place. Anyone would, if they had to be married to that for the rest of their life.” Asra had a smug quirk to the corner of their lip, and as Julian nodded glumly to the thought of being shackled in marriage to the baker, leaned back on the sun warm steps, allowing themselves to be bathed in golden light.

In the warm summer light, the sunbeams that rained down on Asra’s lithe body made their tan skin have an aureate glow about it, the high points of their body all but glistening in the heat, white hair looking more like strands of diamonds and pearls. Julian’s pale cheeks flushed a dusty pink, which to the untrained eye could pass as an unfortunate sunburn, and his breath caught in the back of his throat. While Asra always held an air of something more otherworldly than just being a simple human, which of course he was and after so many ventures into spirit worlds parts of it clung to their very being, in this moment, with the sunlight cascading down on them and them draped languidly across the steps, Julian couldn’t help but think that they appeared to embody a long forgotten deity who had once been worshipped. Disturbed by the uncharacteristic silence by their companion, Asra peered through their lashes and cocked their eyebrow, greeted by the sight of Julian lost in fantasy, his plush lips parted and eyes wide in admiration. The magician smiled, hefting themselves from their relaxed position, and gently patted the man’s cheek.

“Come on, lover boy, let’s get going. You’re getting red.” Asra stood up, stretching backwards until they felt a satisfying crack and release in their back, and reached out their hand to help up the other man before being interrupted by a shouting.

“There they are, arrest them!”

Jolted out of his daydreaming, Julian quickly got to his feet as he recognized the voices of the Royal Guards he had spent so much time running away from. Not wanting to waste anymore time, he grabbed the magician’s wrist and set off in a sprint, not caring that his legs were longer than Asra’s, knowing he could easily carry the other in his arms if he had too, just as long as they got to safety. Being more concerned with the safety of the free loaf of bread, Asra was sure to clutch it tightly to their chest as the doctor all but dragged them through alleys and under archways, the shouting of the Royal Guards getting louder.

“Do you know where you’re going?” The white haired one gasped, finding it hard to keep up with Julian, silently cursing themself for not sensing their pursuers sooner.

“I know where I’m not going. I’m not built for being imprisoned and neither are you, now get those little legs of yours moving or you’re bottoming for the scum of Vesuvia.”

That alone was incentive enough for Asra to force their legs to move faster, until they matched Julian’s pace. The two sprinted down a labyrinthe of twists and turns, until making their way to a shadowed corner. Without thinking, the auburnette pushed the other into the darkened dead end, and pinned them in, the black of his overcoat blending in with the dim lighting of the cul-de-sac enough to shroud the two until their unwelcome followers. While they were both desperate to gasp for air, the two were breathing as quietly as they could manage, taking shallow inhales through parted lips as the thundering footsteps grew closer and closer. The doctor’s face was flushed, and was finding it harder to keep quiet, his breath considerably more ragged than Asra, who lifted their hand and pressed their finger against their companion’s bottom lip to try and keep his sounds hushed, mouthing ‘behave’ silently as they looked up, purple eyes meeting grey. For a moment they both were sure that the guards would find them, the commanding shouts and demands for them to show themselves seeming as though it was only a few steps away, but slowly but surely the calls grew more and more muffled until finally disappearing in the distant murmurs of the marketplace. When the coast felt clearer, the pair’s position became noticed by the two of them, with Julian’s forearms boxing in the sides of the magician’s head, while their finger still lingered on the man’s lips, their bodies practically touching. Asra was the first to move, slipping under the auburnette’s arms, and brushing off their slightly disheveled clothes.

“Quick thinking back there, though that was bold of you to assume that I wouldn’t have the scum of Vesuvia bottoming for me.” The magician sighed, checking the state of the bread, ensuring that it hadn’t gotten too crushed from the sudden chase.

“Well it worked, didn’t it? And you haven’t seen those guys in prison. They’d toss you around like a little ragdoll, with that cute little body of yours. You may be able to top me, but that’s because I let you, got it?”

“That’s not what you were moaning about last time I topped you,” Asra snickered, breaking off the end of the soft loaf and popped it into their mouth, “In fact you were quite adamant about wanting me to take more control away from you, but I suppose that’s in the past. You’re a changed man, all big and tough with those rippling muscles of yours. I bet you could dominate me no problem, next time.”

“N-Next time?” Julian squeaked, voice cracking causing his flushed cheeks to darken even more.

Asra smirked, cocking their eyebrow and after taking another bite of bread, chewed thoughtfully for a moment before taking a few steps and balanced on their tip toes, kissing the doctor’s blushing cheek sweetly and tangling their fingers in the other’s hand. Julian whined, pouting his lips, and wished the kiss had been there rather than his face, but was grateful all the same. Squeezing the man’s hand, Asra began walking back through the twists and turns, heading for the Marketplace so that they could eventually return home to their Sanctuary, and looked back over their shoulder at Julian, giggling softly under their breath.

“Come on, lover boy. I’m not going to leave you here, but I’d rather not stay all day. Get those little legs of yours moving or you’re bottoming for me,” The magician laughed, walking back into the sunlight, “But you’d like that, wouldn’t you?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Mostly just fluff in this one, I'm afraid, but I'm planning for the next chapter to be more spicy~


	3. Worship

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “You’ve changed, Ilya. I don’t know how, but you’ve got a softness in your eyes that wasn’t there before. I saw the way you looked at me today, on the steps.” Asra breathed softly, though it was enough to snap the other from his spiral down in his mind.
> 
> “Oh, I’m the same scoundrel I’ve always been. You must have had me mistaken for some love struck poet, my dear. You did have the sunlight in your eyes, after all.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wrote Asra as having male anatomy, but they're still enby so... Just go with it, I guess? Yeah. 
> 
> Oh, also this is a *spicy* chapter, so if it's painfully cheesy, I apologize, but it was inevitable. Enjoy~

By the time the two made it back to the sanctuary, the sun was just barely touching the ocean’s horizon, the sky a watercolour painting of oranges, pinks, and purples, the first few stars only just beginning to twinkle in the violets of the atmosphere. The desert flowers that had been in bloom earlier in the day had started to close in on themselves, embracing the fragile petals and shielded from the world another evening. The rocky mountains on the other side of the small home that hugged the coastline were still warm from another long summers day and reptiles clung to the little rocks and crags that stuck out from the sandy ground, soaking up as much residual heat as they could before slithering back to their homes. The bread had been eaten long ago, though neither felt particularly hungry. 

  
  


Julian shrugged off his greatcoat that hung from his broad shoulder, and began working on the set of buttons that pinned the inner jacket together, tossing it aside once he was free of it. Once all offending articles of clothing were discarded, the auburnette slumped down on the couch, toeing at the heel of his boots until, with some effort, he worked them down to his ankle, slipping them off. With a dramatic sigh, and a flourish of his hand, Julian curled up more comfortably on the couch, tucking his legs under him and hugging one of the many throw pillows to his chest. Asra padded in, loose white shirt falling off one shoulder, silk plum scarf wrapped haphazardly across their body, and gracefully settled down into their own small loveseat, legs kicked over one of the chairs arms.

“Ilya, if you want someone to hold, I’m right here,” The magician cooed, eying the way their companion clung to the pillow as if someone would take it away from him, “Promise I won’t bite this time.”

“For some reason, I don’t believe you.” Julian huffed indignantly, tightening his grasp of the pillow, and burying his face in the soft fabric. It smelled like Asra, of sweet herbs and earthy spices and of lands he could only dream of traveling.

“Then I’ll just have to prove it to you then, now won’t I?”

Asra slid from their seat, and sauntered to the couch, pulling the throw pillow from the doctor’s arms, and slipping in its place, shifting around for a moment until the inviting warmth of man’s body made all of the other slight discomforts melt away. Julian was thankful, partly that Asra’s teeth weren’t anywhere near him, but mostly for having them face away from him, as he could feel his cheeks start to flush from the physical proximity of another. Soft white curls brushed against his lips, and Julian couldn’t help but lean forward ever so slightly, closing his eyes and savoring the feeling of having his beloved in his arms again. The world seemed to melt away, his heartbeat slowing to a much calmer pace, and the auburnette began to question why he had been so hesitant to form any sort of meaningful human interactions, having run away from any hint of intimacy - a fatal flaw of his.

“You really are just a big softie, aren’t you? I always did admire that about you… How vulnerable you could be, when you let yourself.” Asra nuzzled their chin up against the other man’s hand, closing their cloudy amethyst eyes and giving a content hum.

“I aim to please,” Julian purred, trying to sound more suave than he was feeling, “I did quite adore the way you cared for people, even if you had nothing to gain.”

“Mm… Well, kindness should not have to be in exchange for anything. It should be freely given, not rewarded to those who someone deems worthy. In fact, I find payments in general infuriating at best.”

“Coming from someone who hasn’t paid their rent in months, I am somehow not surprised by that lovely sentiment. Have fun convincing those guards on your ideas on living rent free, paying your way through life with compliments and your weird crystals.” 

“Hey, I paid your bail when you got drunk and stumbled your way through Town Square stark naked and slurring misquoted poetry, didn’t I?”

“You got me there…”

The sun had dipped down past the horizon long ago, the moon and her cloak of a million diamond stars enveloping the deep night sky in her infinite embrace. The only light left in the small home was the dying flicker of candles drowning in the pools of liquid wax and the pale beams of moonlight that slowly crept in the open window, casting an ethereal white glow on everything she touched. Julian could smell incense and the lingering hints of smoke and sage on the magician’s skin,and he couldn’t get enough. He always seemed to forget how when he had the other in his arms, everything seemed to fall into their places, the self deprecating screams that usually plagued the forefront of his mind now nothing more than hushed whispers and murmurs in the back of his head. The aubunrette could feel the others' every movement, from the gentle lulls of their breathing to the subtle shifts and adjustments, Asra pressed flush against his body. It had been so long since either had been so intimate, let alone cordial to each other, and the small smile that hadn’t left Julian’s lips since Asra settled in his arms faded, as he began to remember all he had said the last time he had gotten comfortable, and he tried to force himself to soak it all in, accept that it will end sooner or later, and he wasn’t special and he was replaceable and he should just get it over with now and runaway like he always did and be the inevitable disappointment because that’s all he’ll ever be and-

“You’ve changed, Ilya. I don’t know how, but you’ve got a softness in your eyes that wasn’t there before. I saw the way you looked at me today, on the steps.” Asra breathed softly, though it was enough to snap the other from his spiral down in his mind.

“Oh, I’m the same scoundrel I’ve always been. You must have had me mistaken for some love struck poet, my dear. You did have the sunlight in your eyes, after all.”

“You can’t run away from this one. It’d just be nice to hear it come from your lips for once… The truth that is, not the theatrics that you always insist on putting on.”

“Fine, right, okay. What do you want me to say? If that’s what you really want, I’d cross oceans and jump off cliffs just to see you satisfied with me.” Julian’s eyes fluttered open, feeling an odd unconditional vulnerability, as though whatever he said in this moment held no consequence towards the future, a moment in time in which nothing he said could be held against him.

“I want to hear what you really mean. Not what you think will make me happy. Just… You. I want to hear  _ you _ .”

Julian sat in silence for a moment, trying to find the right words, though if that’s what Asra really wanted then he supposed it didn’t matter, and cleared his throat. Maybe it was easier that the magician’s back was turned to him, because for a moment he imagined what it would be like to speak his mind with those crystalline violet eyes seemingly gazing into his soul.

“Today, when you were laid out on the steps, with the sunlight streaming down on you… Don’t laugh when I say this, but… You looked like a deity… I’d worship you in a second, with the way your silk robes clung to you, not to mention the way you spoke to the vendor. I envied the sun for brushing against your skin, for I’ll never be so close to you as it, and I envied the steps underneath your body for I’ll never be able to be so supporting or so strong for you. You have always dripped in an otherworldly wonder and mystery, but today you were no longer a mere mortal but a God, bathed in divinity and splendor, and I was at your feet wondering what I did to possibly deserve seeing something so spiritual and pure. In that moment, I remembered how easy it is to fall in love with you, and how painful it has been to be apart from you.” The words spilled from Julian’s lips, just as possible to stop speaking as it was to stop the ocean’s wave. 

Asra stayed quiet as the other began to ramble of their majesty, comparing them to ancient dynasts of Praka and how they resembled a ruler of the cosmos, draped in robes woven from nebulas and wearing crowns gilded from supernovas. The magician could feel their cheeks begin to flush a dark pink, pleased that their companion listened for a change, though they were genuinely flattered. After a while, it seemed as though the doctor tired himself out, the string of pauses between praise and adoration growing longer, before Asra decided it was enough, sitting up and nudging Julian’s shoulder until he lay flat on his back, before lifting themselves into a straddle position on the man’s hips, and gently placing their finger on his lips. 

“That’s enough, lover boy.”

“I-I’m sorry… That was too much wasn’t it, I didn’t mean to-” Julian started, before Asra pressed their finger a little harder against his lips.

“I don’t remember asking for an apology. In fact, I thought what you said was beautiful. I had no idea you looked up to me with such reverence,” The magician cooed, a warm smile on their face as they spoke, their other hand resting on Julian’s chest, “That was very sweet of you. I know that must have taken a lot of strength, being so vulnerable like that. You’re so good for me, Ilya.”

Before Julian could respond, the white haired one leaned down and pressed their plush lips to his, kissing the man sweetly and lovingly. The aubernette couldn’t help but choke back a soft whimper, not used to being rewarded for showing his sensitive side, feeling guilty for half expecting to receive a slap and a sharp worded comment. He could feel the other’s tongue against his own, lips softer than the first snowfall of a silent winter locked with his, their two bodies intertwined and tangled together, warmth spreading where skin touched skin. Not being able to help himself, Julian reached around the other, and clumsily pulled his gloves off before running his slim hands through Asra’s cloud soft hair, pulling their head closer to his own. A dull ache cutting through the liquid pleasure blossoming from the kiss brought the doctor to his senses, slowly opening his eyes to see Asra, who had pulled away with their teeth sunken into his bottom lip, looking down disapprovingly before releasing their bite. Julian moaned deep in his throat, running his fingertips over his kiss-swollen mouth.

“Please…” Julian whispered, voice already getting hoarse, as he tried to catch his breath.

“Please, what, my sweet boy?”

“Please, let me worship you.”

Asra shuddered at the request, licking their lips, and nodded, gracefully climbing off of the man’s hips, which jerked up  _ oh so _ desperately at the brief moment of friction, padding over to the moonlight bedroom, tossing their shirt and scarf to the ground, before giving the other a look, raising their eyebrow expectantly. Lit by the full moon dancing through the window, every mention of deities and old gods seemed to come to fruition, Asra seeming to glow in the dimly lit room, a silver aura of light encompassed around their tan body. Julian scrambled to his feet, trying his best not to look so needy, making his way to the magician to drop to his knees at their feet. His loose fitting shirt, which already had difficulty hanging off his broad shoulders, had slipped around his elbows as he gingerly raised his hands up and weakly pulled at the waistband of the other’s trousers, the bulge only slightly South already evident through the thin, caramel cotton fabric. Julian looked up, storm cloud grey eyes pleading silently, eagerly awaiting permission until the magician laughed softly and nodded their head, before pulling more purposefully, guiding the trousers down Asra’s legs and let them use his head as a support when he lifted each ankle to free them entirely. Now that they were completely undressed, Julian’s hands hovered over their legs, climbing up and up until grasping the back of the other’s inner thighs, pulling their body forward subtly. 

Asra’s arousal pressed up needily against their stomach, already weeping from the tip, and without warning, Julian tilted his head up, dragging his tongue up the side of it until fully wrapping his plush lips around the head and sucked roughly. He could see the muscles in Asra’s thighs tense at the sensation, and a wave of pride washed over him, as the auburnette suckled passionately at his lover’s achingly aroused cock. The magician’s breath hitched in their throat when Julian finally did take their entire length into him, grasping harder at their thighs to suppress his gag reflex, grey eyes watering as he began to bob his head. Asra sighed, pleasure washing over them in ever growing waves, their hand roaming their toned chest until feeling their erect nipples be brushed under their fingertips, eliciting a breathy gasp, as sparks of electric bliss crashed behind closed amethyst eyes.

“A-Ah~ You look so pretty in the moonlight… Sucking me off, and letting me make you my own all over again. I think I forgot how good your mouth feels~ You’ll have to worship me more often so I remember.” Asra purred, their index finger and thumb tweaking and twisting their nipple.

Julian hummed softly in response, finding his own steady rhythm and feeling at ease in the position of giving pleasure. The dull ache in his jaw only made the throbbing between his legs more insistent, and the doctor found it increasingly difficult not to let one of his hands fall from Asra’s thighs to palm himself over his suddenly much too tight trousers. Julian paused on a downstroke, blushing cheeks hollowed out, throat distending ever so slightly and his tongue dancing over the underside of his lover’s erection, before looking up, a mischievous twinkle in his mirth filled eyes. His hands clawed at the backs of Asra’s thighs, blunt nails leaving red marks down olive skin, to which the magician allowed their knee to buckle, knocking the man at their feet square in the chest.

“If you’ve left any visible marks after this is all done, I’ll make sure everyone knows you’re mine again. Now where were you? That’s right~” Asra growled, running their fingers through mahogany hair and stroking their thumb gently over his forehead.

Obediently, Julian started to bob his head again, trying to hide just how pleased he was to be bossed around again. The magician above him had begun moaning softly, finding it hard to keep themself quiet as heat began to pool in their lower abdomen and the occasional throbs and pulses of their erection grew more frequent, their cheeks a deep rose pink and pearl teeth sunken into their bottom lip. Asra’s forehead glistened with sweat, white curls of hair clinging to their brow as they gasped for air, breathing slurred curses under their breath, begging for the man at their feet to not stop, moaning promises and affirmations as the familiar tightness in their stomach and balls drowned out all other sensation. Julian’s throat became full, and he found himself swallowing desperately to avoid choking, pulling his head back until it was just his lips wrapped around the magician’s tip, suckling gently to milk out as much release as he could get. When the twitching and pulsing of the other’s cock grew more spread out, Julian dragged his tongue up the length once more, gliding his hands down the other’s thighs, before licking his swollen lips and smirking.

“Now,  _ that _ I did miss. Delicious~” Julian crooned, taking the outstretched hand and standing up on shaking legs, “Let’s get you lying down, shall we?”

“What about you, my sweet boy?” The magician murmured, finding it hard to stand without clinging onto the man beside him.

“You know I care more about your pleasure than my own. I like the throbbing ache of it all. Besides, my deity, you look sleepy. Come to bed with me, won’t you?”

Asra hummed in agreement, allowing the taller man to help them under the covers, whimpering when he left to go fill up a glass of water. Something about the dangers of dehydration echoed in their head, though when they found their mind shut off whenever Ilya spoke Doctor to them, knowing there was an entire multiverse of spells and herbs to heal most ailments. It was only when they felt the sturdy arms of their lover wrap around their lithe body, did Asra finally allow their eyes to flutter shut, nuzzling their face into the doctor’s chest. Julian smiled softly, his large hand pressed against the other’s back, holding their body to his own, eyes lifted to the window where a sea of stars filled his tired grey eyes, the darkness under them almost matching the same shadowed hue of the night sky. While his lover - oh how he missed that word - had the uncanny ability to fall asleep anywhere they rested their head, finding slumber within minutes, he was cursed with countless sleepless nights and exhaustion plagued days. Though the weight of the other in his arms did hold comfort in and of itself, in fact he could already feel the cloying grasp of sleep tug at his mind, the day’s earlier hesitance towards the relationship flowering again was at the forefront of his thoughts once again, and Julian fought with his eyelids to stay open, eyes focused on the sky, to try and avoid what he knew would be a restless night’s sleep full of old monsters and the guilt that never seemed to leave his conscience. Yes… This was the right choice. It had to be. It was for the best that he left now, and how fitting that he would steal away into the night. Julian slowly eased his way out of Asra’s embrace, pressing a chaste kiss on the magician’s forehead, lips lingering for a painful moment, and he quickly began to feel around for his greatcoat, standing by the door to gaze back into the Sanctuary… To steal one more fleeting glance at Asra sleeping peacefully, unaware of what he was sure was a mistake, but at this moment, so did everything, and leaving now was the lesser of two evils.

“I’m sorry, it’s for the best,” Julian whispered, as if voicing the words would penetrate Asra’s dreams and they would get the message, “I love you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Can't go too long without some angst, right? Sorry for the cliffhanger, but they're just too fun to write.


	4. Confrontation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Easy does it, you big oaf… I got you… As long as I’m here, no one’s gonna hurt you.” Asra murmured, trying to coax the doctor into a standing position long enough to be draped over their shoulders.
> 
> “I can wahlke… Lemme go, I caaah…” Julian mumbled, his body betraying his words, once he was resting on the back on Asra, his arms and head lolling on the magician’s shoulder and his legs wrapped loosely around their waist.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a warning, there is a pretty graphic description of wounds and injuries. Also an attempted sexual assault (key word, attempted). If that upsets you, skip the chapter. I'd rather you be comfortable than put yourself through something that can be potentially triggering to some.

By the time Asra woke up, the sky had turned an empty grey, devoid of the brilliance and splendor that the lapis atmosphere held the day before. They knew Julian had left them before they opened their eyes, not even needing to feel the coldness of the bed beside them or the deafening silence of the Sanctuary. It had always been like this with Julian… Things would get good. Really good. It was the safety that frightened the man. Knowing that he didn’t  _ need _ to run away from anything sent his stomach twisting in knots and a sick claminess crawling across his already pallor skin. Asra knew they had moved too fast. It was always too fast with Julian. A gust of wind came through the open window, rustling the leaves of the dying houseplant that sat besides the deserted bed, and sending an icy chill down bare tanned skin. A hand felt down their body, fingertips grazing over the fading scratch marks that were raised to the touch. 

“Ilya, must we do this every time…” 

Asra got to their feet, and looked around for a sign that the past two days had even happened and he hadn’t accidentally been on another vision quest. Padding over to the oak dresser, hands pawed through loosely folded clothing searching for the black silken shorts that had been there only days ago, but found nothing but scarves and a worn feather throw.  _ So it wasn’t a dream, _ Asra thought to themself, shrugging on the shirt and trousers that had been left discarded on the ground after last night, pulling on an extra wrap to cover their thin shoulders. He hadn’t remembered the small home to be so quiet, but Julian just as a man always seemed to light up a room, making everyone feel seen and loved for a moment before disappearing like a fleeting glimpse of love. The light was now extinguished, leaving nothing more than evanescent shadows and echoes of laughter. Asra wrapped their arms around their chest, hugging themselves to fight against the chill sneaking in through the ajar window, and meandered back to sit on the edge of the unmade bed to try and decide on if they should spend the energy to chase after and talk down Julian.

◆ ◆ ◆

It never ceased to amaze him how quickly one got used to the warmth of another’s presence, and how cruel the world seemed once the warmth was snuffed. Julian sat - though at this point he was really in more of a puddle - in the Rowdy Raven’s darkest corner booth, a brigade of empty glasses defending his almost asleep body as saliva pooled from his parted lips. The doctor had drunk himself into a stupor before the noon bell tolled in the Town Square, and was only just now feeling comfortably numb, his head spinning and thoughts melding together. Other customers, who had only just started pouring into the small pub avoided his table, murmuring to each other about what could have possibly have happened to the good doctor that would make him spiral down so hard. With a groan, Julian raised himself more upright, so that at least his chin was off the table, wiping his cheek with the back of a gloved hand and rubbed his eye to try and get his bearings once more and beckoned the man behind the bar to come over. 

“Burrtendher? Yess, I whouhd lihke to knowhe… I whouhd lihke to knowhe where thah nearessst prisn ise.” Julian slurred, resting his swaying head on his hand and smirking.

“Uh huh… Why, you gotta friend that got locked up, or something?” The man chuckled, eyeing the state of the auburnette with a twinkle of amusement in his brown eyes, resting his hands on his hips.

“Noooo, silly. I whouhd lihke to gooo to prisn. Fer somewuun so cute, youhoohoo shore aren’t too bright, are ya, big guy?” The doctor teased, tapping his temple with his index finger before stumbling to his feet, knocking over several pints in the process which shattered against the floor.

“You gonna pay for that? Or anything you’ve had here, pretty boy?”

“Are youuu going to pay fer this?”

With every ounce of strength and coordination in his body, Julian lunged himself forward in an attempt to land a punch on the bartender’s jaw but stepped on the hem of his greatcoat and tumbled forward into the other man’s arms. Rough hands grabbed at the falling man, hoisting him up onto his unbalanced feet and pressed the doctor against the wall behind them. The bartender gave a wicked smirk, finding that the man in his hold wasn’t struggling but was making it easier for him to be maneuvered around, using whatever leverage he could to go wherever the force was. 

“Come on, put up a fight at least. It’s no fun when they don’t put up a fight.” The bartender sneered, lifting Julian’s chin up to make eye contact. He could hear hushed whispers of the guests behind him, for they all knew and loved the doctor as one of their own, “That’s enough!! Next one who breathes a word gets their teeth knocked in, got it? Now where were we…”

Julian gasped for air, choking on his breath when he felt his chest being slammed against a nearby table and his wrists being pinned down on either side of his head. For a moment, he contemplated struggling but the pounding in his head and the stabbing guilt in his heart made it hard to find the will to do anything other than fight for the breath in his lungs and maintain consciousness. He could feel the pressure of blows crashing down against his back, but couldn’t quite feel the pain of the battering his ribs were receiving. It wasn’t until the sickening feeling of the bartender’s hard on pressed against his thigh, did Julian start to writhe against the restraining hands, the sensation of being grinded against sending his booze addled mind reeling. 

“N-No, plea… please, no.” Julian sobbed, his forehead smacking against the table as he continued to struggle.

“Not so strong now, are you, pretty boy? Now just be still for just a mo-”

“Get your disgusting hands off of my idiot boyfriend.” 

The bartender looked up, eyes burning in interrupted fire and whiskey, to stare down the slender silhouette in the doorway. Julian thrashed under the larger man, trying to move his head until he could see who had spoken, having a long string of jilted lovers that he would run into from time to time who would, inevitably and to his vexation, attempt to rekindle things. The man on top of him saw this, and slammed his knee to the back of the auburnette’s thigh to subdue him, before stepping over his, now slumped, body to confront the voice head on.

“Who the fuck do you think you are, barging in on my business and acting like you have any say in the matter? Mind your own fucking business and get out of my sight or I’ll wipe that smug look off your face.”

“Sir, get out of my way, please.” Asra snarled, making an attempt to shoulder their way past the bartender, who did not so much appreciate being talked down to and grabbed the magician by the collar and lifted them up onto their toes.

“I’ll say it one more time, get OW!!”

To the untrained eye, what Asra had done would have looked like magic, or perhaps to the cynic, a trick of the light. In reality, the magician broke the wrist that held them up in a matter of seconds, first trapping the arm between their elbows and with a bit of leverage, contorted the fragile bones of the wrist towards the shoulder then away from the body, shattering the joint in three different places. Asra sighed, brushing their hands off on their over vest to rid the tackiness of another’s sweat, and stepped over the crumpled man’s body, who was shrieking and cradling the already bruising and heavy distorted looking arm in his hand, to make his way back to Julian who was still in a heap of greatcoat and broken glass from the pints he had toppled over previously. 

“Easy does it, you big oaf… I got you… As long as I’m here, no one’s gonna hurt you.” Asra murmured, trying to coax the doctor into a standing position long enough to be draped over their shoulders.

“I can wahlke… Lemme go, I caaah…” Julian mumbled, his body betraying his words, once he was resting on the back on Asra, his arms and head lolling on the magician’s shoulder and his legs wrapped loosely around their waist.

“You drank enough to get the entire Royal Guard drunk, and a little more. Not to mention being accosted by that wretch of a man.” 

Asra carried Julian on their back out of the Rowdy Raven and down the road, thankful their shop was so close as by the time the two got to the door, Asra felt weak in the knees and was seeing spots on the outside of their vision from the weight of having to carry the rudely large man, who was now half asleep, for such a distance. It took some awkward fiddling about with what little free grabbing they could manage, but soon succeeded in opening the door and with wobbling legs shrugged the man onto the small day bed they had in the back for long nights of spell work and vision quests. Julian groaned when he fell with a soft thud onto the mattress, but was soon pawing for a pillow to hug to his chest, as the magician began searching every little nook and cranny for medical supplies, returning with bandages and a warm, wet cloth to clean the wounds out.

“Wake up, Ilya,” Asra cooed, gently nudging the man’s shoulder until he sluggishly sat up, “It’s my turn to be the Doctor.”

“There’s no point, it’ll heal itself eventually. Go make some tea or shuffle your tarot cards or get high with a spirit guide, I’ll be fine.”

“Mm, ‘fraid not, you’re still bleeding - on my rayon throw I might add - and you have shards of glass poking out of you.”

“It’ll grow back, don’t worry about me. If it bothers you that much, I’ll stick some leeches on it and be good as new,” Julian whinged, making mild protests all the while unbuttoning his inner jacket to give Asra better access to clean the wounds, “I’m not worth it, I can handle this.”

“Will you stop acting as if nobody cares about you?  _ I _ care about you, can’t that be enough? Do you even want me to, or is it all the same to you, this self induced isolation you put yourself through. Thanks for leaving a note, by the way, not that you were hard to find.”

“I thought about leaving one, but didn’t know the right words to say. Silence seemed to be more fitting.”

Asra hummed softly to themself, gently wiping away the dried blood and sweat that clung to the man’s ivory skin, trying their best to not disrupt any of the more serious injuries. Julian had a cut lip, a lacerated forearm, and a large black and blue bruise from when he fell to the ground, and while the rest of the wounds seemed to be healing already, those two were considerably deeper and appeared to be much more serious. The magician cleaned away the blood, best they could, applying a firm pressure to the auburnette’s arm until the bleeding stopped and it was only clearish fluid that seeped sluggishly from the deeper parts of the cut. Asra, not being the doctor or even being comfortable dealing with people’s physical bodies in general, gave Julian a worried look and pointed to the area.

“Oh, don’t worry. It’s just plasma and white blood cells. It means things are doing what they’re supposed to.” The man said, looking more interested than concerned at the process.

Nodding, Asra bandaged the doctor’s arm to keep it from getting a potential infection, and rubbed a salve on the split lip before standing up to return the medical items back when they were stopped by a hand lightly holding their wrist. Confused, the magician looked down at the man before understanding the wordless request, quickly shuffling the supplies onto the floor and crawling beside him. Julian sighed, pressing his back to the other’s chest and willing himself not to flinch when he felt their arm resting on his waist, the events from earlier that day still lingering in the back of his mind. Flashes of memory coursed coursed through his mind, the reeling scent of alcohol coming back to him and the feeling of calloused finger grabbing at his hips stabbing through his thoughts like jolts of electricity. The magician sensed something was wrong, and pulled away, the only contact between the two being Julian’s back against the other’s chest.

“No, please… I’m sorry.” Julian whimpered, hiding his face in his hands and trying to slow his breathing down.

“I don’t want to make you uncomfortable, so-”

“Make me uncomfortable. I don’t care. It doesn’t matter. You shouldn’t have found me, to begin with. It’s all my fault.”

“And what if I hadn’t found you? Would you still be pushed against the table, or would you be on your back with him pressed against you? I should have come sooner than I did, or this wouldn’t have happened,” Asra whispered, ghosting their fingers over the bandages wrapped around the man’s arm, “Please let me take care of you without running away from me.”

“I don’t know how.”

“And that’s okay. Let me keep you safe from your own demons. You keep locking me out and I’m trying to show you that there’s more to life than fear.”

Julian stayed quiet, and forced himself to lean back into the warmth of the other as much as every voice in his head was screaming to pull away. For so long the only driving force in his mind was to stay alive, even if that meant he was isolating himself from anything and anyone that was a potential threat. He couldn’t even remember  _ why _ he was like the way he was or when it even started, his whole running away from any form of affection out of fear of attachment, but he knew that it wasn’t one of his admirable qualities. Come to think of it, Julian was having a hard time finding any admirable qualities he had at all, but he did wonder if maybe someday he would be able to learn to tolerate himself. He at least hoped he would, one day…

“Why did you leave? I mean, I think I know why, but I want you to tell me.” Asra finally broke the silence, letting their arm wrap around the man once more, and holding him close.

“Because…”

“Because?” That’s not a reason, that’s an excuse.”

“I’m sorry… I should have spoken to you about it, but I knew I would disappoint you again and I couldn’t bear the thought of telling you. Running away and disappearing was easier.”

“Easier doesn’t make it right, Ilya.”

“I know… But I wanted to protect you from it all… To protect you from me.”

“How many times do I need to tell you, stop assuming I’m not strong enough to take care of you. I don’t know where you got the idea that me asking you to trust me meant that you were a burden”

“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to hurt you again.”

“You’ll always hurt me. That’s what happens when you’re with someone, but it's learning to not take it against yourself that's the real trick. So what… You hurt me. I'll be okay. I'm not going to abandon you for doing so because that's not who I am. You don't deserve to be alone anymore than I do. Let me be here to ease the burden you force upon yourself."

Julian's lips parted, trying to find the right words to say but coming up empty. It was a challenge, allowing himself to relax into the embrace, but perhaps it was time to learn how to trust someone without running away. It seemed as though everyone was begging for him to open up and be vulnerable, but something in his mind always convinced him it was wrong. What was he left with now? A broken relationship and no real friends and leaning on everyone an unhealthy amount until running away? Julialips bit his lip, fighting back the urge to shrug off the embrace and get used to the cold again, but the warmth was so divine...

“Hey Asra?” Julian whispered, trying to make himself as small as he could manage, “Can we not talk anymore? Please…?"

“Whatever makes you happy, Ilya.”

“Thank you… I just want to be held for a little while.”

The overcast clouds of that morning still lingered in the sky, making it grow dark much earlier on in the day than the normal sunny evenings of summer. The shop smelled of incense and wood, giving it a warmth and welcoming feel to it despite being dimly lit and a touch colder than what was comfortable. Asra tugged a blanket over them, settling back against the man and buried their face in the nape of his neck. Perhaps it was a mistake, running back to the man who had abandoned them and would keep on hurting them for as long as they were together, but something in the magician’s heart couldn't simply walk away from Julian, knowing full well the kind of trouble he got himself into. If today was any indication of that, he was in no state to be left alone for much longer than an afternoon and Asra would do everything in their power to keep their lover - that didn't feel like the right word, though they did question whether there even  _ was  _ a right word to define who they were together - safe and in one piece. It was hard to tell what time it was, the darkened clouds hiding any sun or moon or stars that would have illuminated the sky, only showing a murky charcoal from every horizon and from as far as the eye could see, though neither particularly cared what time it was as long as they were together, protected in their shared embrace and hidden from the prying eyes of the world for one lonely night, and it didn’t take long until both fell into a dreamless slumber, bodies intertwined together.

◆ ◆ ◆

Asra woke up first and rubbed their eyes before rolling onto their side to see the doctor sleeping soundly, though they half expected to wake up to an empty bed again. Julian lay, with his arms wrapped tightly around a pillow and his lips parted in sleep, breathing softly. The crease between his brows which were normally knit together in worry and concentration had melted away, making the doctor appear much more youthful and calm. The sight brought a melancholic smile to Asra’s lips, wishing there were a way to help him look so relaxed in his waking moments, but they knew after years of experience that misery and agony followed Julian like the disappointment follows young lovers and hope follows fools. As carefully as they could, without waking the auburnette for Stars knew he didn’t get enough sleep, Asra crawled out from the warmth of the bed and padded through the side door to get to the small kitchenette, shuffling around to make tea and coffee. The oven salamander was particularly feisty this morning and refused to light the fire until properly greeted, though it wasn’t too long until the water was boiling and the mugs were steaming and brewing. Asra grabbed the two drinks before making their way back to the bedroom, where Julian was still asleep. 

“Rise and shine, sleeping beauty,” The magician cooed, combing their fingers in the man’s ruffled hair, “I made you coffee and I was going to go make some breakfast after you woke up a bit more.”

“Thank you…” Julian groaned, sitting up slowly and wincing as he felt the previous day’s battle wounds. His hands pressed against his ribs, where the bruise had healed some but was still purple and red enough to cause pain.

“Careful, Ilya. You got pretty beat up, yesterday. Even with your healing capabilities, I’d take it easy if I were you.”

“When have I ever listened to caution? I’ll be fine. Pain is psychological.”

“Pain is the body's way of saying that something is wrong. That sentiment, coming from a doctor, should I be concerned for your past patients?”

“You got me there…” Julian mumbled, taking a long and slow sip of his black coffee and exhaled, “Can… Can we stay in today? I don’t think I’m ready to see anybody just yet. Not after yesterday.”

“Of course, Ilya. Anything you want, let me know and I’ll at least try to accommodate it for you. I have most of what we’ll need for a few days here, but I might have to run out and grab something from the market. Do you think you can handle being alone for a bit, or no?”

“Would you mind it if I said no?”

“I wouldn’t have asked if I didn’t care,” Asra smiled warmly, leaning forward to kiss the doctor’s forehead lightly before standing up and yawning, “Come help me in the kitchen?”

“In a heartbeat.”

Julian gingerly got to his feet, clasping his coffee mug in his large hands and followed the magician into the small kitchen, leaning against the window and while the sun was still hiding underneath a blanket of clouds there was enough atmospheric light streaming in to illuminate the cozy space. Asra began to hum to themself as they began getting things out to make breakfast, pulling eggs from the ice box and started to get ready to scramble them in a pan, whisking them together before pouring them onto the hot surface. In a matter of minutes, the entire shop smelled of sizzling butter and toast and freshly cut fruit. Julian tucked himself into a corner with a knife, slicing peaches and placing them in a bowl, happy to be put to use rather than just sitting and looking in on the work. He found it easier to keep his mind off of the thoughts that kept him tossing and turning at night when his hands were busy, which is why he found himself in so many unfortunate situations and while there wasn’t much trouble he could get himself into cutting strawberries, the doctor was always wary of what could go wrong. Or, specifically, what  _ he _ could get wrong. 

“I think we’re about done… I made us omelettes, so you grab plates and set the table and I’ll get everything else ready.” Asra crooned in a singsong voice, one hand on their hip and the other holding a spatula, before pushing themself up onto their tiptoes and pressing their lips against Julian’s for a lingering moment then pulled themself away.

“Y-You know, I believe it’s customary for me - the helper - to kiss the cook, but you know how much I like it when you take the lead…” Julian stammered, trying to will away the blush of his cheeks from the show of affection.

“Mhm, that’s lovely, my dear boy, but I believe I asked you to go and set the table. Shoo~” Asra purred, gently tapping the man’s chest with the spatula.

Julian hurried away in a flustered mess, and began to set the table for two. Asra came a moment later resting the frying pan on a trivet and placed the bowl of fruit beside it before slumping down in the chair beside the man and getting his plate ready before starting their own. The two ate in content silence, occasionally glancing over at each other, each thinking that the other was unaware of the stolen looks, and when they finally did meet eyes simply smiled and got back to their food. This slow kind of morning was the best after a trying day because they allowed the body and mind to heal and regain focus. A cool summer breeze rushed outside, sending peals of gentle dings and tintinnabulations from the chimes hanging outside of the shop, sounding muted and far away to the two inside, like the tinkling of fairy bells. It was only after both plates were empty, tea and coffee long since drunk, did Julian clear his throat and break the silence causing the magician to glance up from the cards they had been shuffling in their hands.

“What is this?” Julian said with a sheepish grin, asking the question he had been pondering for much too long now.

“That was breakfast. These are tarot cards. Elaborate.”

“I mean what are  _ we _ ? We’ve been down the relationship road before, and I think I can speak for both of us when I say that we are not relationship material. Or at least I am not boyfriend material…”

“Why do we have to put a title on it? Why don’t we just have fun and see how we feel through it all? I think we put too many labels on things. Why don’t we try playing it by ear and if one of us needs to step back, then there are no hard feelings or strings attached.” Asra leaned forward, resting their chin on their hand though their gaze had dropped to a spot on the floor.

“Wouldn’t that become… you know… Complicated? I don’t think I can promise not to be a disappointment.”

“I try to avoid making promises, if I can help it, especially one’s I know I won’t be able to keep. Maybe we can just… Exist with each other for as long as we want. I can’t promise I won’t be a disappointment either.”

“You could never disappoint me.” Julian murmured, looking down at his hands, fingers fidgeting with the hem of his wrinkled shirt.

“Then why do you think you’d disappoint me? We’re not so different, you and I. We are both human. We both have made mistakes that we regret. What I can promise is to never hold anything against you, as I know you would never hold anything against me.”

“Never. Never in a thousand lifetimes would I ever hold something against you, my dear.”

“And I know that,” Asra smiled, looking up from the floor to catch the gaze of the doctor, “Thank you, Ilya.”

Julian flashed a shy grin, cheeks burning from being caught looking at the other, though the blush soon faded back to his normal pallor. His lips parted as though he wanted to say something, but thought better of it and got to his feet to clear the dishes, placing his hand on Asra’s shoulder for a moment as he passed. There weren’t too many dishes, so it only took the auburnette a few minutes and while he would never admit it, he was happy that the other didn’t join him. Tidying up, though he wasn’t the best at it and excelled in a space full of chaos, gave Julian a moment to collect his thoughts and attempt to regain some clarity and poise. When the dishes were complete, he turned around to steal a glimpse of Asra, who was busy shuffling and reshuffling their tarot cards breathing a song under their breath, smiling at how candid they were in the moment. The magician’s hair was still tussled from the night before, their clothes hanging off their body, but none of that mattered to Julian because it was  _ Asra _ . They could come to his doorstep covered in blood with dark circles under their eyes, and he would still think of them as the most ethereal and beautiful of creatures he had ever laid eyes on.

“So what do the cards say we’re doing today? Gladiator fighting? Stealing a ship and setting off into the great blue to find our fortune out at sea? Or perhaps a quiet day in, just the two of us?” Julian jested, returning to his seat and nudging the other with his foot.

“As fun as watching you get beat up by some monstrous giant in a loincloth or having you come to my rescue as I get sea sick off the side of the boat, I think - for healing purposes - we better stay in today.”

“Smart thinking, my dear. Come to think of it, I believe I took enough beating yesterday.”

“I was meaning to ask you about that. Would you mind if I looked at your bruise to see how it’s healing? I can make a salve to put on it, not that I think it’ll have to come to that, but it looked pretty nasty last night.”

“Not at all, I am at your disposal.”

“Oh?” Asra purred, before giggling off the suave demeanor, and led Julian back into the bedroom and helped him with his shirt, tossing it to the floor.

“Well? Am I going to live to see the end of the day, or has my time finally come?”

“Hush, you’ll make it worse.”

“Sorry…”

While the bruise had decreased, it still wrapped around most of Julian’s entire right side, and down across his hip from where his body was slammed against the table. Asra ghosted their fingers over it, trying their best to be gentle to keep the man from flinching away, their brow knitted together in focus. Julian, on the other hand, was trying his best to look anywhere but Asra, his grey eyes falling on the silk curtains that hung between doorways and the little bottles and jars that held herbs he was sure he had never heard of. When the magician finished their inspection, they pressed a light kiss over the deepest part of the contusion and stood up straight.

“Well, doc, how bad is it?” Julian teased, though his face gave away just how worried he was.

“He definitely left a mark… From my medical expertise, I’d say it’ll linger with you for a couple of weeks, a month maximum.”

“Lovely. Waiting. Just what I’m good at.”

“I can think of some ways to pass the time,” Asra cooed, trailing their fingertips up and down the doctor’s arm, “If I remember correctly, the other night I told you that if you gave me any marks that I’d make sure everyone knew who you belonged to. I still have scratches from your nails all down my thighs. I’d like to think that I am a person of my word, and I’d hate to end that reputation now…”

“A-Ah, I see,” Julian stammered, the familiar fire in his cheeks returning quicker than he wished, “We can’t have you go back against your word, now can we?”

“I’m glad we’re on the same page, my darling boy. Now what say we make me an honest magician, hm?~”

“Yes, please.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope this wasn't too dark for anyone! Next chapter, look forward to some more smut~

**Author's Note:**

> Sorry for the tease, there will be much much more where that came from, promise~


End file.
